Tears And Tantrums

Every passing year unfolds a thing or two which means something was missing in my life and it should be duly added. 


 2019 is, I believe, the yr of change or the metamorphosis. Something which gives me anxiety. What I do not wish it to be is the year of loss of loved ones. It scares me. Well I never knew that the change, scared me so much till end feb. Little did I know my birthday this year will be so eventful. And that I will loathe the whole process. I don't really know how to put it. At one point in time I was this adventurous soul taking decisions at the drop of a hat and by the end of the same day I was scared as a lil kitten. What the incident told me was we are who we are because handful of people influencing us, investing in us and contributing to our well-being. And our value is diminutive when those backstage characters are gone. Only tears remain. 


 We throw tantrums at our pillar of strength knowing that it won't backfire. At times we take this blessing for granted tills the tears roll in. 


 I believed that the "People are seasonal, Miracles are real" is true but it's the other way around when you hit thirtees. Now my biggest fear is the loss of loved ones with whom I've grown as they know you better. They can sense if something is wrong with you. And you need that kind of unconditional support. There's just so much I want to write about but I'm in a writing slump may be. There's so much on my mind right now. 

 Hope I recover.