Sympathy for Empathy!

In a moment of grief what you cannot do at times is to retort back at a person, what you Can do (and is more destructive I think) is that you don't forgive the person for who he/she was in that very moment. You simply can't convert your remorse into revenge so you mentally
1)  kill them
2) block out their presence
3) do not acknowledge them

Doing that does take a part of you away, emptying you .....But its important my dear.
Whenever you were bullying someone or manhandling a situation just remember you are creating a baggage for yourself or your kids/ parents/siblings to carry. The negative energy comes back at you in the most mysterious of ways.
Do not sympatheize with yourself,  empathize with others that is exactly what lasts. Walk in someone else's shoes every 15 days, you ll get
1) a taste of what others go through Or
2) what their journey is all about Or
3) you ll get the other side of the picture , the grey zone will be clearer.

The next time you kick someone's chair, shout at someone because YOU were in a tough situations or you just wanted to misbehave to take out your anguish, trust me you have created 1000 megawatt of negative energy coming your way, multiple times. You loose your worth just like that.

We wanted to make  Earth a better place some years ago, no?

🍇

The Last Straw (and the samosa :P)

"ortho saari zindagi ka rog hai"

I heard the gayan very respectfully while I munched on the expired and overpriced pattees in cpsp canteen. A senior was showering his pearls of wisdom on me and was trying to give me a heartache as a sidekick :p

So what should I do now? I asked with heart skipping a beat every min

You should start studying ....IMM nahi hua na ab tak? he tried scolding like a pri school teacher with maula bakhsh

"....hgya"

"hmmm..... phir part 2 nahi dena tum ne! why are you wasting time"

I looked around and then looked back only to inform him that I am IN my final yr .....not done yet!

"ohh acha acha......phir aisa karo k articles parho...cases hgye?"

 " ...horhy.... hain" I replied as I squeeeeezed out the last two drops of ketchup

"jaldi kerlo....lagta h so rhi ho...."

By this time my patties and ketchup were finished and so was my sabr.
I retorted "ap k hgaye?"

He conveniently looked away and after inspecting the ceiling for about 5 min replied.... "horhy.... hain"


The conversation ended and so did my motivation for doing post-grad.

The truth is that the last year of ortho residency is a debacle, if I may say so. Trust me, it is the worst. You get bombarded with dissertation, cases, parhai ki tension (not the actual parhai) , to do or not to do ek adad article to satisfy your already dead ego, juniors ki stupidity ki waja se mili hui assignments and what not . All of a sudden you start getting things which your dumbhead mind failed to understand during the initial years of residency. You start getting ideas for your cases in your sleep! Yes, in sleep! of all the places.

It is a time when you are trying to land back on earth after flying high over the big fat hurdle of passing Intermediate exam. It is a time you realize you are worth ....well...ahem .....Nothing! :p
You feel lost  only to be found  by your unappointed patients of the day. It is also the year when you start hating the third molars (upper ones to be precise). It's the year of heartbreaks (both good and bad). In my chinese calender, it is the leap year with immense, sudden, unforeseen growth!

So, my two cents would be to grab a cuppa-tea (l'accent de british) and dig in the realm of books with infinite territories as soon as your crazy- lazy self can!

(Pic credits: Google)

Five point someone--- what not to do in an orthodontic residency!

1) Do not teach Orthodontics to the patient:

Seriously it'll put you in hot water. They'll know when the midline is off, they'll know when the wire was to be changed. In short, they'll make your life miserable. Your worst fear will come true when they will point out that canine is not one. Yes!  it has happened, buddy! But sometimes it can be the opposite case. Some co-operative patients do tend to listen actually. But they are "atay mein namak k barabar" dude.

2) Keep nicknames a secret!

Nicknames are mandatory. How can you even survive those torturous four years without keeping secret names of Everyone! But but but....my friend.... look out for the black sheep in the family (cum hospital). Keep those names sacred to your own heart. Keep them well- guarded. This treat is not for everyone to cherish. Some makhan marka attention seeker may reveal these to the victims actually. And then you know the consequences..... :-p

3) Do not miss any opportunity for hangouts or vacations:

Primarily, because you are human. Fall ill if you need to. But, go to the Roman holidays like those dare devils. Your residency will finish but the opportunity might not come back.

4) Under-estimating the power of Duas:

Do not look for a counselor or a healer you know yourself better than anyone else. But what you need to cling to is the dua s be it parents, a needy person, a friend in distress or a sad sibling. Just do not miss any sort of opportunity of helping others and gain some positive aura of your own. The road-side professional beggars do not count peeps!

5) Don't forget about exams!!!

Many of us, while struggling through our daily tasks, lose focus for the upcoming exam. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget that you have an intermediate exam (I.M.M) after two years and a barra haathi i.e. F.C.P.S II in the end. You have to study bit by bit every day or at least 3-4 days a week. Keep looking at the books and familiarize yourself with their names, chapters, and charts. In this way, my friend, you won't panic in the end, the darkness won't engulf you near the big day. Things will come to your mind out of no-where and you will be well prepared for your upcoming exam.

My last ride to Jason VIP !

My sister is right. At times like these, I actually forget that I am here (Karachi) for a bigger purpose (dentistry).So, my sister is shifting. And on my last ride to her residence, I felt like it's like the end of an era.


My thoughts will be most likely, appreciated by those of you who at some point in their lives have lived away from home. And during that period you have had craved home or something like your home away from home. The feel. Whether it be a friend or a hangout place or a coffee shop, grocery store, be it anything. We all look for a place akin to our house back in our hometown. A place where we enter and leave without obligations or responsibilities thrown in our way. Where we can just be. The place which is at its best your Narnia or your Mirror of Erised.


So, this house has seen me from weak, meager and miserable to astonishingly strong and successful (in some areas of course!). My first stomach lurching freelance project to my first blog, my imm exam and the night before it and the morning of the exam where it was raining soothingly when I left shivering with fear, to when I heard the good, bad and ugly of the news, this house has hosted me well. It has been my room of requirements so to say :P. My cinderella getaway where I could return late than the designated time.


The reality struck me that I won't be barging in this house anytime I want from now on, when I rung the doorbell and someone other than my sister or her husband showed up at the door. We were off to shift some of the leftover things. And it was then when it dawned on me that my very own T2F is gone :).


So, those of you reading this be a little kinder to people around you, especially those away from home as they are already fighting many battles that you don't know about. Keep everyone around you guarded and protected and covered in every other possible way. For someone, you might be the angel they are wishing for. Don't become a human for them :).

Pointers for Moms---- Some tooth related facts

These are a few common queries, which as a mom you might have if your child is teething. 

Also if you are a parent to a growing child you must know when to visit your dentist.

It's a checklist, go through the list and let me know if there is anything else I can help you all with :)

1- If your baby is having her/his milk teeth erupted then the gaps are good. There have to be gaps between teeth because milk teeth are smaller in size and when permanent teeth, which are bigger in size, will erupt they will eventually cover those spaces.

2- If your child is 7-8 or 7-9 yrs old and there is a gap between upper front 2 teeth in the center, Again! it is good and perfectly normal. This stage is called ugly duckling stage and by the time permanent canines (pointed teeth at the corner of the mouth) erupts, this space will close spontaneously.

3- Between 8-9, 8-10 yrs of age you might see that lower front teeth are crowded or you might experience "extra" or "the double teeth" as some people would call it. The reason behind this is when permanent teeth begin to erupt, they erupt behind the milk teeth and then come forward. If there is a delay in milk teeth falling and permanent tooth eruption you might experience this. Don't worry just visit your dentist. And you will be informed that whether or not the milk teeth need to be extracted.

4- If any of the milk teeth are lost before 6 yrs or it needs extraction, inquire your dentist about the need of a space maintainer. Or more appropriately visit an orthodontist just to be sure. The space maintainer is mandatory in certain conditions where you want to save the space for permanent teeth which are yet to erupt. Otherwise, space will be lost and teeth will be stuck inside the bone.

5- The age of the first ever orthodontic visit averages 8-10 yrs for a girl and 9-11 yrs for a boy. If you feel that upper teeth are behind lowers you will probably want to visit in 7-8 yrs for girl/boy both. 

(These ages are for local Pakistani population)

6- As soon as your baby turns 1 and has already started taking solids and teething just wipe the mouth of your baby with those flexible finger brushes or just with a finger, to begin with. 

7- Do not make a habit of giving your child sweetened milk or rooh afza or any juices before he/she sleeps with the bottle in the mouth. It will lead to tooth decay and all of the upper front teeth will turn black or they will decay. If the baby takes juices or any other sweetened juice, don't forget to rinse the mouth before they sleep. (this is for the babies older than 1.5yrs old)

If you face any of these situations, Don't Panic! Just visit a dentist!

For Official Humans of Pakistan group!

At this late hr, when the world is fast asleep, I tried to peek into the inspirational world online. I am a regular follower of Humans of New York (HONY), Humans of Bombay and Pakistan.

Lately, I've been seeing a pattern on the Humans of Pakistan posts. Most of their posts are revolving around education...anything related to it. The hurdles one faced, breaking the glass ceiling effect etc. You name it and they have it. Now, I am not saying they are not inspirational enough. But if you look at the story telling lines of other groups and if you manage to notice; how they make intricate and beautiful little things, shine bright in the spotlight in a very powerful yet engaging conversational manner you'll understand what I am trying to say here.

The posts of HOP lack the naive nature of everyday acts of kindness. The smallest of the gesture which made your heart melt or the ones where your faith in humanity was restored, to say the least, are the kinds of posts they are lacking. I'll quote a couple of stories which I learned online and I wanted them to be brought to HOP platform in a very different way or maybe just the way they were shared as original.

A post was up on soulsis Pakistan (I hope I am naming the correct group) where 2 daughters and their mother were out for shopping. Their car engine broke down in the middle of the road. While the entire traffic was busy honking and making an already anxious group of ladies more miserable, a guy came up fixed their engine, told them about the nearest car workshop and made sure they were safe on board again. When this story was posted with the candid picture of the guy and a thank-you note, somehow the real guy who helped saw it and responded. Now, I badly wanted someone should do a retro version of the event with the guy s perspective. That should have been a hell of an inspiration to our youth, which is unfortunately under a hormonal surge, and feel it necessary to pass a cheesy comment every now n then rather than helping like a gentleman. At least that's how I would have done it.

The second incident was when an acquaintance of mine lost two of their phones in cab, and the cab driver returned it and had to cross the entire city just to return the cell phones. This story does not sound inspirational enough until and unless you've had your phone snatched or accidentally lost it in a public transport and never found it again. The grief is impeccable. And for someone who relieves you of the agony, deserves a public applause in this fast and the furious era.

Another incident which has just popped in my mind dates back to 2005-2006. In my very own city, Hyderabad. A friend of mine had accidently hit an "Applied For Registration", a week old, brand new vehicle from the back ruining and smashing its rear. The uncle who owned it demanded a payback, which was quite obvious! And was agreed to be given so. He later that evening, showed up at the residence and told my friend's father that I've forgiven and won't take cash either. Upon asking what made him change his mind, he told the father that when you were told about the incident your reaction and your voice tone was such that you are in immense anger (which was quite obvious!) So, at that precise moment I felt that I don't know what you will say or do to your child. And I only knew that you will be harsh enough to cause a heartbreak. Your child is my child and, today is Shab barat ( the holy night in Shabaan) It is a night of forgiveness so I have forgiven and I expect you to do the same! These are the kind of posts I would like to be scalloped and brought to the plate.

Their posts are an inspiration, that is a big Yes! But there are several unlit areas where our unsung heroes reside and we need to bring out those hidden stories to the larger canvas as well.

I just hope I was able to effectively communicate what I genuinely felt. With lots and lots of heartwarming success wishes to the team of Humans of Pakistan!

Regards,

What goes around never surely comes around !

I am gonna start by asking all of you when was the last time you made a terrible terrible mistake at work? 

Got it?

 Eh? okay, think some more....

Now got it...?

 Yeah, I know how it felt. But I am gonna ask you, do you remember who rescued you? Somebody must have, either beautifully or in an ugliest possible way. So who was it?

Hmm...you remember the relief, right? Or how you badly wished that someone rescued you and when they did, you felt lighter. Now, snap back in present time. How many of you plan to give the same feeling back to the society. When was the last time you forgave someone over something which caused you a fortune? When was the last time you "relieved" someone of their agony.... AND most importantly, did you do it without getting anything in return except the satisfaction of fulfilling your purpose as a human being.

……..when was it? If you can recall then I would like to give a standing ovation. Because most of us don't do that! And that is the precise reason why I chose my title for today. None of us make the effort to do something good as a return for all the good which was done to us or for us. It's high time we change our strategy! 

I believe in Karma. I also believe in the positive energy and that, it finds its way back to you no matter what part of the globe you go and hide in. There are some things you should do for self-satisfaction, giving back to the society is one. Whenever you felt overwhelmed by somebody’s kind gesture, kindly, immediately replicate it for someone else. Reciprocate the chance to change someone’s life, essentially a person who can do nothing for you in return. In this way, they won’t burden your soul with pride. Let your ego suffer a bit. You’ll feel the eternal sunshine enlightening your soul. C’mon! let's feed our scarred souls a bit and let this August be Ours!

On this 70^th Birthday of our beloved country, I would like to give everyone an idea. An idea to start a vicious circle of peace, patience, and positivity. Trust the day you do it, you will be happy as a bee!

Not so Cheap Thrills :)

There are certain songs which make you nostalgic and then there are those which allow you to make memories. This post is particularly important because I am not a crazy huge fan of media be it films, dramas or anything else. But I had to write it all down! So, there were all these posts about the Indian bride dancing her way through the wedding day preps. I saw it. The song was catchy. When I learned the lyrics it made my stomach cringe and I missed my inner circle. So, this post is for you Marium, Razia, Falak, Iqra, Asma. These lovely ladies tolerate me happily when I am high on ketchup, pizza, chai or anything that's edible or piyable :) ..... you name it :D They are the ones who make me forget my phone and practically everything else in the world. All of us love to talk. We talk so much, not to mention we all talk at the same time, that no one listens :)


Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love cheap thrills!)

The thing is the thrills with you guys are not so cheap. They are worth the moon :) You guys are breath of fresh air through and through. You don't just celebrate me at my worst you make my day when I am at my best too (I knowwww, it sounds weird but that's the way we are!). We celebrate, not enjoy but Celebrate the bad moods! with each other. Occasionally, just like that, I'll throw a sarcastic comment andddd here you go!

I got all I need
No I ain't got cash
I ain't got cash
But I got you baby :)

That's veryyy true! :P BUT soon there'll be destination holiday you guys, just hang in there and wait for like 40 more years :P Well, somethings are priceless and they come in handy just like our gatherings, at adda (pizzahut) or adda no.2: Falak's home. Marium invites us to her place also, very secretively though and she just forgets to actually tell us that we are invited to her house on a particular day :P (referring to an incident which happened in high school)


Come on come on, turn the radio on
It's Saturday and it won't be long
Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on
It's Saturday and it won't be long 

In my version, it would be: it's Sunday (for us, of course!). Our radio and newscaster or broadcaster is Falak. At our gatherings you can show off or on very conveniently, mostly because none of us care :P We talk, throw words and unfinished stories at each other and get out :D It's usually later in the night our watssap helps us in finishing those stories/gossips.



Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

Who needs it when you have a master chef like Asma, awesome-est baker like Iqra, and Falak's aaalooo! And faalsay ka juice, YES, I mean who does that, knock knock, Answer is: Falak. In her wedding this cutie gave us the goodie bags and in her own farewell party she brought me a bottle of wine (read that as falsay ka juice) matlab pampering ki hadd hai :) She is the event organizer with such fun activities that we all just do not move from her house until and unless we have to :P

 Now Marium would be thinking that I left her out. Yes darling I did :P that's because you have forgotten my homemade aftari that I sent you waayyy back and you never fed me pizza! apna wala! 
And Razia you need to re-surface a lil more, scene mn ayn aap! Having said that whenever I meet her she never forgets to fill the table with all my fav snacks.
This post is an appreciation blog for my Oxygen (s) in town. Because of them, other than My family, Hyderabad is Home :)
And yes sometimes, only sometimes home is not four walls, its two eyes and a heartbeat.




(10 eyes in my case :P)

A Review For the Doobie Donuts (Hyderabad)

When it comes to eateries, Hyderabad did not seem to have a lot of options 3-4 years back. There still  is dearth of a casual chai/coffee shop for students to hang out or a place where they can sometimes sit and do assignments Or simply kill time.

Such places are in abundance worldwide and even in Karachi. There is Dunkin Donuts, which is my favorite spot for doing my assignments. There is Dolmen Mall food-court. These places are customer friendly in every possible way be it availability of internet connection or discount deals.

However, happily enough things are changing in my hometown. So about a month or so ago I came across this online donut franchise, based in Hyderabad. As I was home and had nothing better to do on 1^st May holiday, I ordered nutty chocolate donut and one white milk donut. Their facebook page is quick to respond and order was confirmed. I sent them a google map screenshot of my location (it always helps while placing online orders).

The order was delivered in the given time slot. Donuts were super fresh. The smell was appetizing. They were soft and neatly packed. White chocolate on top was smooth, did not decompose and did not taste bitter.  That was a major plus for me. Nutty donuts had a crackling effect which I like with something as soft and spongy as donuts. The donuts are not pricey and have good value for money.

So, this Eid I decided to try their Cake and my pick was a Rainbow Cake and Oreo Cake.

Let’s start with Rainbow cake. It was moist. Colors were bright. Sponge was soft and gooey but just the right amount not too gooey. The chocolate on top was generous and it blended well with the taste of sponge.

The Oreo cake had a perfect appearance in accordance with a festive, Eid cake. I ordered with a little customization so mine had no oreos on top, alternatively it had chocolate chips sprinkled in the center top part. Topping was light and fluffy. The only thing which could be improved is that may be adding middle rather thick layer of frosting in between the upper and lower part of the sponge that will prevent the drying effect which occurs as you dig in towards center. It cost me around rs 720/ for 2 pounds and a free delivery (Eid special).

On the whole;

Delivery: 08/10

Taste: 09/10

Packaging: 10/10

Response rate: 10/10

Price: 10/10

Amazing one-liners!

·        Chai aur beizzati ka koi waqt nahi hota

·        Baatein croron ki aur dukaan pakoron ki

·        Tou boond baarish ki aur mein Karachi ka rehne wala

·        Part-I hojata hai II nahi hota (regarding FCPS)

·        Jis mein khair nahi us mein sirf sair hai

·        Jo dikhta hai wo bikta hai

·        Chota packet, barra dhamaka

·        Jal b rahay ho, jala b rahay ho!

·        Crackpot se Jackpot :P

•     Ye cheez mere aziz

These are a few of the one-liners that are used in everyday practice. I just assembled them in this one post.

Courtesy: Hiba, Pashmeena, Summaiya, Falak and myself

Independence is bliss

Independence is a privilege, be it financial or moral. It comes with a lot of responsibilities for sure but at the same time it enables you to liberate the inner true you. It comes with a steep learning curve. It lets you stumble upon the wrong choices and move past the right ones with ease.

Let’s first understand that why is it necessary for our youth especially girls to be independent. Independence is something which allows you to take control of your life let alone finances. Less emotional dependency permits you to foster your inner confidence. You do not suffer from distress and dismay that is part and parcel of being socially and emotional dependent. Now I am not saying that social support is not at all important, it is, but you don’t have to rely emotionally on somebody, dragging them into every situation life throws at you. You become far better decision maker with a broader vision. You set yourself free from wearing off your emotional reserves. Sense of accomplishment tends to build up the self-esteem and the person appears to be less dependent and less needy. You tend to take responsibility of your every action.

I was grown in a full house with subtle amount of money, not mine of course :P. But it made a lot of difference in the reactionary aspects of my behavior. We never sulked over something we could not have. We never felt entitled to privileges rather believed in earning them. Everything fell into place until I, like many other youngsters of our part of the world entered the corporate world. It was then only it hit us that the same background which prevented the reactionary actions provoked a rather odd set of circumstances. So, I was with a group of youngsters only last week when it hit me that the satisfying wealth we all have, has made us all fall in a cumbersome situation. There are many of us who have struggled hard and fought for our place in a reputable university in the most market compatible and highest paying fields. We have wrestled through the exams, assignments, fulfilling the required quotas and so on. And now that we have arrived, in this competitive world of business what has hit us hard is the fact that there is no place (majority of cases) for warriors like us in the big commercialized world. We get sidelined by the quacks, by the people with impressive gigs but no proper degree in the easiest way. You have the degree and the diligence and devout for the job but you are not required. And then when you get the job, the pay scale does not amuse you or satiate your hunger for independence. The salary is not market competitive on the mere basis of the fact that you are from a sound financial background and hence don't need the money. 

When you start a job your first instinct is to buy a house or a car. You want to start saving and investing from the beginning. Money plays a key role in pursuit of happiness. It makes you carefree and content. You want to be independent and on your own. When the job fails to give you all this you look for other sources of income. You try out different things in order to have that extra edge. The concept of passive income allows you to remain independent for a long term. It is about protecting your hard earned money. By investing, basically what one is trying to do is to safeguard the welfare and well being of the family and business that one has built.

What I am trying to say is let us create a world with an open field where each one of us has a chance of standing out. Let us not demean the degree. Let’s just give all prospective M.D’s, CEO s a chance. The skills matters and so does that degree. The hours spent in front of computers, books, laptops for completing a task matters too. The money, energy and time put into all the academic years needs to be recognized. If only our youth doesn’t feel so bad about “wasting” the time in college, they can willingly do wonders.

Gratitude brings about a heartfelt regard of what you have and will have in future. It allows giving back to the society in myriad ways.