Love Letters (#04)

 Hi again,

Dada! I needed to ask something....

What did you do when the world moved on and you remained stuck? How did you got up in the morning and how did you manage to keep yourself sane through it all?

Did you eat a lot? Did you use sleeping as your defense mechanism like me? Did you panic? Who did you go to, who did you write letters to? Who was one person that stood by you? Who was your confidante because there aren’t many as I know it.

Is it okay and normal to wake up one morning and not wanting to face the world or going to sleep wishing it never ends??? Or am I sounding depressing to you?

Oh how I wish I knew you better and how I long for your company only GOD knows it.

Work is not great. I want to resign. Just like you. A dumbhead is being made my boss and I don’t like the hostility of the place I work. I want to excel but there’s no road ahead. My life is on a bumpy ride. All haywire. I am confused beyond words could even explain.

I need a constant. A person like you.

Miss you.

Love letters (#05)

 6 Jan 2022

Dada! I failed.

I can't process what happened. But I failed. What should I do?

I often think about ppl ending lives, accidents and ways of getting rid of this nonsensical life.

When you failed an exam, how did you cope with it? I mean not the trauma but the self-blame. How did you stop doing it? I feel like I need an addiction. Smoking may be. But I am asthmatic. I need an addiction. Just to distract myself.

And the people! I am done with them too. World is cruel bhaie! You must've noticed it. You were sharp enough. You knew ppl too. I just need the courage of breaking the man-made bonds and the societal pressures. I need to do what you did while leaving the job and creating your own little empire. Everything you liked. Anything you felt was important and needed. And the way you did it ever so unapologetically.

I need just one hug from you. Why? Because I need your energy. Only you had it. 

"The infective positive"

The way you rose by lifting others. I want That. But first I need energy of yours. I hope there was some way it could transcend to me. I desperately need a cup of tea with you. We need to talk! I need to listen more....to you.

People might find these letters weird but these are all I need right now. You didn't left behind anyone like you. I see glimpses of you in abbu. But I need the pure, sheer, raw "Samdani genes" RN. The Samdani narrative of things. Your version. And you know what exactly I mean by that. Breaking bonds and doing what's on one's mind. Our intuitions are strong. We both have one thing in common. We see things in 3D. Not the black, not the white, not the grey. You and I. We follow gut. We go about 180 degrees to change things to 360°.

Love Letters (#02)

 How to be alive?

22 November 2021

Hyderabad

Hello again,

I know I m bothering you a lot but….who cares 😍☺️. I wanna know one thing. It’s bothering me since morning. How are you so alive? I mean even in death you have such strong presence. No, No! And No, I am not joking. Not at all. There are people, very few of them but there Are people who are still moved by you. The respect which is transcending through generations makes me wonder; what did you actually do to have larger than life imprint on people’s mind some 40 yrs later!

I am amazed truly. People can’t stop talking about you. People can’t stop to be thrilled about you. Even after 04 decades. The males, the females, your nieces and nephews and anyone who’s life you touched. They all talk so ecstatically about you. They’re all in a faze till today.

They talk about your charisma. They tell me about the personality you had. They mention you were good looking and kindhearted. They tell me about the I.Q, E.Q and social intelligence you had. You knew people inside out. You were out there for everybody. You emanated kindness like a reflex action of some sort.

I look so hard in people who share your genes to get a trace of you but none matches the charisma of that magnitude. You appear to me as a character of Greek mythology who was one of his kind.

My question remains; what did you actually do?