Its been a long night without you, my friend

 It's been a long night without you Abba.

Grief is anger with nowhere to go, as I am told. 

I don't know what I have managed to do thus far. I don't remember most of my life, post 13 June 2024 after 6AM.

What I have learned is: I have learned to wake up with the thought of you. Train my mind, body and soul to live 3 different versions of the very same life. One in my head with you. One what might have beens. And the last one, without you.

What I have learned is it will remain the same. No matter what I do. The backgroud, the stage of my life is gone and the scorching sun just never goes away. 

I have learned to think the longer versions of things. One starts with you, our discussions and slowly I transition into a life where your room is empty. I walk in trying not to look on your bed. 

Dinners are difficult. I don't find your leftovers now. So most of the time I am clueless as to what I shohld eat. I haven't made breakfast since you left. You were the only one I used to wake up for. I find it difficult to look at british comedy shows. Since I can't share it with you. I can't read newspapers or books now. I have lost routine. I don't organize stuff now.

I haven't scooped through your things since ages. The smell of your cologne hits me like a rock and I timetravel.

I don't dance to my favorite music anymore. I don't look at black n white movies. I don't read jokes and I don't solve puzzles.

I cannot watch Lion King now. I find it difficult to wear sketchers. All my change is finished and I have officially run out of coins. I found pine nuts in my cabinet last december and I broke down like anything. I don't know who to call when something nice happens.

It is indeed been a long night Abbu ......without you my friend, my only friend.

Thing with Orthodontics

 I am writing a series where I try and answer most commonly asked questions I come across on various platforms (Quora etc). This one is about whether or not you should step into Orthodontics.

The thing with Orthodontics---whether you practice it or you are studying it or you are in any way remotely related to it, IS that it evolves. And it evolves quite quickly. So, unless you are ready to be a student/keen learner all your life please do not step into it. It is like the noment you will master one technique, another cool device/software/appliance will be launched and your previous experience almost an expertise will be forced to be flown outta window. Leaving you at square one. This will happen quite often.

You need a bit of delusion, defiance, humbleness and ability to conform to fit into this maize we call Orthodontics. 

Absolutely anything can change your perception. Remember! It takes only one patient, one case to tame your pompous self. 

If you are somebody who doesn't like being corrected very often please do not step into Orthodontics.

If you are somebody who was not into Physics then please retreat.

If you are somebody who is not resilient enough.... the quality akin to that of a phoenix then please consider other fields in dentistry.

If you are somebody who likes a step by step guide or a cookbook for everything then Orthodontics is Not for you. Because every case is different. Much like our fingerprints.

Hope this helps!

Retainers- Locking the Corrected Smile after Orthodontic Rx

 

I am writing this information based blog about Retainers and their importance after Orthodontic treatment (Brace Treatment Or Aligner Treatment) because I have recently come across some of the Myths surrounding the aftermath of Orthodontic Rx.

First things first: Retainers are as important as the Orthodontic Treatment itself. It is more of continuation of Orthodontic Treatment rather than the end of it.

The Type of Retainer will be determined by your Orthodontist. There are few different types of retainers. Clear ones (called Essix), fixed ones (Lingual fixed retainer) which stick to back of your teeth, Hawleys type (the classical wire one). Every patient has a different demand for retainer based on their case type so one can't rationalize use of certain retainer in a certain type of case.

The Duration of Retainer wear: You will be asked to wear your retainers for different hours for different duration for the first 2/3 yrs at the end of your active Brace treatment. Typically it starts of as 24hrs wear (except for meals and brushing) for the first 06 months followed by only night time (12hrs) wear which is further reduced to alternate night wear during the 2nd yr. New research recommends that one should wear retainer for as long as you want your teeth to be staright (once or twice weekly).

There are certain irregularities of teeth which may require lifelong retention.

Cleaning your Retainer: You will be asked to brush and clean your retainer as you do with your teeth. It can be done with denture cleaner solutions or in case you don't get hold of it; you can still brush them under luke warm running water.

Caring for your Retainer: Place them in a nice solid (plastic/wooden) small box when you are not actively wearing them. Wrapping a retainer in a napkin/tissue is not recommended.

Photo courtesy: 

Dr Bryahn Hicks

Retainer Direct

FB: Rejouvie Dental Centre

Things I will never say

 

It is goimg to be a long haul. I don't remember when exactly I started internalizing my feelings....the exact date I mean....I do not recall this. What I remember about my-younger-self as is that I was Always vocal about anything and everything. 

And to a much greater surprise my audience was always 02 people. Dadi and Abbu.

They'd listen to me. Respond accordingly. Albeit laughing but always gave an answer to my questions or made me re-structure my thoughts or always added an angle to my judgements....the 3D angle. I have lost myself bit by bit over the last few yrs. I have stopped remembering my likes and dislikes and I get pleasantly surprised when someone remembers my preferences (and those are few, very few people as well). 

The thing with sharing is that you want people to listen to you and perceive things with same intensity and frequency as you first perceive them in your own mind. And this is a rare phenomena. Alot of times people will misread you, judge you for your ideas or make a mole out of nothing. So what do you do then? You start retreating. You start blocking your thought process. You start forgetting things. You start forgetting about things which makes you happy. I am currently in the same phase. 

I get pleasantly surprised when I recall something about me. And this has made me re visit an area of my pre frontal cortex and hippocampus. 

What if I write about the things which I will never say. What will I write then.

So here goes:

1. The hurt. All the things which have hurt me. Like deeply. Hurt my bones, knuckles, soul. Aunty S once said: Oh this is the daughter on whose birth I called to regret.

(On the contrary, this sentence made me love my Daadi like never before) 

Or when someone treated you like trash and no one stood up for it despite knowing you need the back.

2. When someone accused you of having malicious intentions ....when you never had any. 

3. When you read the mean text about yourself a night before your exam. And it hit you like rock hitting at your achilles heel. And you never did anything wrong in the first place. No matter how much you let it pass. It stays with you. The meanness always stay with you. 

4. When you were treated like an enemy for being completely docile. Just because the world doesn't believe in magic of goodness anymore.

5. When the world decides to give you a taste of nasty-ness as a response to a simple request which could help you in myriad ways.

6. How hurt one can be when all efforts go in vain. 

7. How distorted you can feel when nothing gives you happiness or sense of achievement anymore.

8. How you respond when you realize that Plan A, Plan B failed. Plan C cannot be executed and Plan D was never meant to be set in motion. And you are re-routing for a plan E knowing there is no Plan F. 

9. Words don't come easily. You have to surpass certain levels of uneasiness and extreme discomfort for the feelings to come to you which will eventually flow out through your pen/keyboard.

......to be continued as life goes on and so is my level of hurt.

Orthodontics----Interception

 Case U.M (When Timing Changed the Entire Treatment Plan)

The Importance of Interceptive Orthodontics: A Missed Opportunity That Can Alter the Course of Orthodontic Treatment

In today’s world of modern orthodontics, interceptive orthodontics isn’t just an early start—it’s often the difference between a simple extraction and a complex surgical case.One recent case highlighted this truth perfectly.

A young patient presented with erupting upper canines that were showing early signs of displacement. Radiographs (OPG and IOPA) clearly indicated that both canines were deviating from their normal eruption path. The roots of the upper lateral incisors were already showing mild resorption.
At that stage, a simple bilateral extraction of the upper lateral incisors could have created sufficient space and favorable guidance for the canines to erupt naturally—no surgery, and minimal discomfort.
Unfortunately, the patient didn’t return for follow-up until six years later.
Now, both canines were fully impacted, requiring surgical exposure, orthodontic traction, and a much longer treatment duration. What could have been a simple interceptive phase, evolved into a two-year comprehensive orthodontic plan involving multidisciplinary coordination.

What Is Interceptive Orthodontics?
Interceptive orthodontics refers to early diagnosis and timely treatment of developing malocclusions in children—usually between ages 7 and 11—to prevent more severe problems later on.
It’s like detecting the “storm before it hits” and redirecting tooth eruption or jaw growth before it becomes complicated or in many cases untreatable.

---Why Early Diagnosis Matters????
Prevents impaction of permanent teeth (especially canines and premolars)
Reduces treatment complexity and overall cost
Shortens orthodontic treatment time later in adolescence
Improves eruption guidance and aesthetics naturally
Avoids unnecessary surgical interventions

In this case, had interceptive phase been implemented on time, natural canine eruption could have been achieved simply through extraction therapy and growth guidance.

With the advent of digital orthodontics, 3D imaging, and predictive growth assessment tools, we can now identify developing eruption issues with unprecedented accuracy.
However, technology is only as effective as the timing of diagnosis and patient compliance.

Interceptive orthodontics is not an “optional early treatment”—it’s preventive orthodontic wisdom.
A timely decision can spare a patient from years of complex treatment and emotional distress.

So, whether you’re a parent, dentist, or orthodontic trainee, remember this:
👉 In orthodontics, timing is everything. Intercept early, treat smart, and let nature do the rest.


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Orthodontic Residency--- Nicknames Edition

 

Hi,

I am Sadia Asif. And I casually write blogs about different things, but writing about Orthodontic Residency from a resident's perspective is one of them. I am 10 years ahead of my orthodontic residency and hence I feel extremely safe about writing about the fun stuff I encountered during those 4 years (which were not fun at that time, of course!).

As a method of survival in a different city with no friends circle whatsoever, I made up a few survival hacks. One was to imagine everyone how they looked when they were a child (3/4/5 years old) and the second was I kept nick names of everybody who pissed me off. 

Fun Fact: The numbers of those lucky people are still saved as their nicknames in my phone to date :P. 

I will share a few of those here (because I have nothing better to do today). So, let's begin 

Tanhaiyan and closing doors 19 July 2025

 Tanhaiyan and closing doors 19 July 2025

What did 13 June 2024 did to me?

It took me back to square one. I am still trapped in the pic here

This pic was taken back in the 90s. It was 1995 or 1996. Basir Chacha had just shifted into his new home. And there was some house warming party and this was at the roof where Qadir Chacha suggested that we, the 4 of us, should stand and he will take a photo. The walls were low and I was afraid to stand with such small boundary wall at my back. Abbu made us all stand and he was trying hard that I stand  and pose for the picture. I was still afraid ....very very afraid. And then Qadir Chacha urged Abbu to stand with us all. He never wanted to be in the picture ....he wanted a group picture of the four of us. But he had to. Cuz I was afraid. 

You can clearly see his fingers placed on my shoulder ....re-assuring me that he is still standing behind.

I just wanted to make sure that Abbu is still there. Behind me. So I checked by placing my arms backwards and held his shirt. I wanted to be cent percent sure that he was there. 

That is how I was back in the 90's. 

I wanted re-assurance again n again. And that too only from Abbu. 

I would ask him gazillion times that he won't forget to pick me from school. And he would reply ....each time.... patiently. Abbu was never that patient. BUT he was with Me. Because he was told that I am a carbon copy of his younger brother. And I get worried just like him. So he would play along.

People tell me to overcome the loss....my question is How? 

If I erase Abbu from the picture (like I have erased Sarah, Wardah and Hiba....just to make my point) I would be standing in front of a very tiny wall, from a great height and no background at all.

Haseena Moin apa was once asked that how she came up with the idea of the drama  "Tanhaiyan".  Her reply was that the play was about two girls who respond differently to the parental loss. I am oscillating between Zara and Saniya. Chasing the same old house and the door closing behind my back.

Post-FCPS Chronicles -----Life On the Other Side of Finish Line

From Glory to Grind------Where is my red carpet?

Life after FCPS Orthodontics----The unseen mandatory reality check for FCPS-II Aspirants💥

Alot of Firsts and the String Theory

 

My last thought of Ramzan 2025 March 30, 2025....

I should have chosen Physics as a subject.

My first thought on Eid ul Fitr (Monday/31 March 2025)....

So, this is a first without Abbu and this is how it will always be. 

There are alot of firsts coming my way. And honestly I hate them. I long for the presence of my dad and the bubble which engulfed me for most part of my life. I miss the fun replies.....the most unexpected ones from abba. I miss his smell. I miss the aura he had. I miss the food that he used to leave in his plate for me, I am forgetting to have dinners now. Why? ...Simple reason being: abba used to leave something in his plate for me and I would have that later as my dinner ...IDK how he figured that out cuz both of us rarely sat down together and had meals. Even in hospital when they were prepping him for GA he left half the sandwich and pointed towards it; "ye kha lo" and I went like, 

"Abbbbuuuuuu haddd hgai! Eat it!"

Now I have a similar stiffness in my neck and its not going away. I find myself lost all the time. Grief comes in waves I suppose. On some days you are fine then there are other days when you are drowning & there's a deep pit. It feels like you are falling down and there is no gravity. Even if it breaks your bones: you still crave for the gravity.

I feel like he still gets happy when I visit him and turns to others telling them in the most peculiar way of his, "ye meri beti hai.....choti" as he would struggle to remember my name or atleast pretended to.....

I understand the invisible String theory better than ever now. We were meant to criss cross eachother abba till we had what we had. I was told my affection for you is akin to a greek mythology and I get it now. I can see myself revolving around you.

 I feel like 

1) life has no shade now

2) there is no gravity on Earth

3) the background of my life's stage is gone

The funniest part is Abbu that you used to call me Beti and not a Beta once....and treated me like a royalty....I loved being your simba. I never could see the dying of Mufasa in the Lion King and I would cry endlessly. 

I feel like Simba now Abba. I feel like I failed you that night and the nights before. 

This guilt is not going anywhere anytime soon. Heart gets heavy and the life seems unbearable for now. I wish we don't loose connection. I regret saying the thing I said to Sarah and I take it back. 

I hope this desperate writing reaches you because my writings were once what you approved of. And see....for most part I haven't used any slangs.

I told you in Kindergarten, "You'll forget to pick me from school". Ap mjhe bhool jayein gay

And he'd say that, " No, I can't".

You told me "They're sending me to ICU...baat sunn....I ll be alone there"

I replied: "No, you won't be"

......I am still here Abba. In Hyd. On the roads you travelled. Meet me. For I will always be waiting for you.

I don't feel myself as myself lately. I miss you Abbu.

Your choti.....forever.

Wisconsin, Venn Diagram and the Silent Cheerleader

 04 October 2024

 Friday

This is exactly why I am afraid of Thursdays and Fridays now. People leave. 

Moazam chacha left. And I went back into the same spiral....like they have sound effects in movies....just like that.

Although all of us are physically and mentally placed in different zones But it feels like we all are stuck in the common sphere of venn diagram. Navigating through exact same emotions, processing exactly same things.

The last time me and chacha were together he had brought gifts and gave me a choice that choose (1) or (2) while I was thinking hard .....he'd smile and say "you know you can always choose BOTH" 

My eyes wide opened and I asked "heinnn is that even an option?" And he raised eyebrows like he always did instead of full nod.

I achieved some academic excellence some time earlier in life and he used to repeat it ....basically letting the other person know that he knows and is enjoying it. And then he would repeat it again n again. Not with a loud applaud but much like a silent cheerleader.

He told me "We had step-uncles and I must say all of them were nice to us. I must admit".

He told me things about my father I never knew, never could have deciphered, never could have de-coded.

Moazam Chacha we all are praying for you. ALLAH ki amaan mein.....