Abbu,
I am going in the bathroom you used to go.... pacing.... trying to see any glimpse of you....trying to smell your fragrance....
I was scared to loose you ever. And I did loose you Abba!
You know what Abba, I just realized that you were not same post 1997/1998. Like I have seen 02 very different versions of you. I remember I sat down in car and I told I have learnt spelling of "Cat" veryyyyy proudly.... and you "hmm-ed" your usual hmm. With eyes wide open and a slight twinkle.
What is it? You asked.
See-ay-tee (C....A....T) I replied fully turned towards you. And you said, "hona toh kay ay tee chahye C se cat kaise hogai"
I said, Cake b toh hai.....you replied "wo b ghalat hai". And then you paused waited for my answer. I never had any.
You were expecting something funny.....I regret I didn't say anything funny that hot summer day, as we drove past cantonment gravyard on downward hill road. I am regretting it Abu. I should have talked more.I m feeking thirsty now.
Feelings and desires have a strange thirst, it keeps pinching you in gut and doesn't go away....no matter what you do.
I am amazed when people tell me that Asif didn't use to talk much. I want to tell them about all the talks we had. You told me not to tell stuff....so I am quiet. See! I can keep stuff to myself. Please come back for once and see that I can do that.
It is hard to wake up thinking that you are not here. Even harder to think that you ll never be.
Abbu you have taken away a part of me. How long a person can live with half a heart?
Asif ki beti
Asif ki chhoti
Xoxo forever.
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