6 Jan 2022
Dada! I failed.
I can't process what happened. But I failed. What should I do?
I often think about ppl ending lives, accidents and ways of getting rid of this nonsensical life.
When you failed an exam, how did you cope with it? I mean not the trauma but the self-blame. How did you stop doing it? I feel like I need an addiction. Smoking may be. But I am asthmatic. I need an addiction. Just to distract myself.
And the people! I am done with them too. World is cruel bhaie! You must've noticed it. You were sharp enough. You knew ppl too. I just need the courage of breaking the man-made bonds and the societal pressures. I need to do what you did while leaving the job and creating your own little empire. Everything you liked. Anything you felt was important and needed. And the way you did it ever so unapologetically.
I need just one hug from you. Why? Because I need your energy. Only you had it.
"The infective positive"
The way you rose by lifting others. I want That. But first I need energy of yours. I hope there was some way it could transcend to me. I desperately need a cup of tea with you. We need to talk! I need to listen more....to you.
People might find these letters weird but these are all I need right now. You didn't left behind anyone like you. I see glimpses of you in abbu. But I need the pure, sheer, raw "Samdani genes" RN. The Samdani narrative of things. Your version. And you know what exactly I mean by that. Breaking bonds and doing what's on one's mind. Our intuitions are strong. We both have one thing in common. We see things in 3D. Not the black, not the white, not the grey. You and I. We follow gut. We go about 180 degrees to change things to 360°.
No comments:
Post a Comment